i'm sure there are many men that aren't counted in abuse and rape statistics bc they don't see what happened to them as abuse or rape. where you lose me is when you imply that the same is not true for many women.

the idea of not realizing you've been abused or raped, or being too ashamed to admit it to yourself/others, is not some kind of male-exclusive experience that no woman could ever hope to understand. "men can't be abused/raped" is just one tool out of many in the abuse apologist toolbox, and if it's not applicable to one victim, then another will be used--and yes, many of those tools are exclusive to women.